My mom said her good-bye's to the kids this evening, as she is leaving tomorrow for Phoenix where she has made the decision to reside. I, myself, am okay with this. Yes, I will miss her. But all my life I've went back and forth living in the same city as her. I'm 29 years old, I can handle it. Malakai on the other hand. Has no idea what is about to hit him. He has seen her almost every day for his entire 5 year life. They have movie nights, have spent every Valentines Day together for the past 5 years, read books, go get ice-cream, the list just goes on and on. Putting all the issues my mom and I have ever had aside, she has been an AMAZING grandparent to my two children. She was the only constant relative in their daily lives, everyone else is far away. Leila is just to young to realize what is going on, but my Malakai, he gets it, but he doesn't get it.
He told me tonight "Mommy, my heart is broken Grandma is leaving. But I will see her probably Friday or Saturday!" I try to tell him that he will not, but it just hurts my heart even more. I wish I could tell him we will see her a lot, but that would be a lie. As much as Josh and I would love to make it out to Phoenix a lot, we are averaging once every other year. I foresee her making it back here once a year. How do I explain this to him? Will it even effect him since he is only 5? I have no idea where to even begin with this issue. I would love your ideas and suggestions.
XOXO,
7 comments:
Oh Karissa, my heart is breaking for you! I have no advice, no answers, just lots of love being sent your way right now! XOXO
It is hard not being next to your family..... It never gets easy. I know it is cliche, but it really makes you appreciate your time together, and it makes you see what is really important. We want to protect our little ones from the realities of life, but sometimes it is not possible.... My Jason was seperated from his grandparents when he was in the
2nd grade. The hard part of this for him.... they were basically his parents. He really struggled wtih this. The upside to this.... his grandparents sent him "Surprise" gift boxes filled with all kinds of stuff from his favorite fruit rollups, to baseball cards. He still to this day mentions those "Surprise Boxes" all of the time. He also made special boxes for her as well. I know it will not replace the time he has with her.... but all of the little things they can do together while they are apart will help......skpe, phonecalls, letters,..... oh and the Special surprise box.
Oh that will be hard, poor little guy! I can definitely tell you it is difficult not having family around. My kids have a webcam so they can get on the computer and talk/see their grandparents - my family has one as does Kyles (granted it's been awhile since we used it). And what Heather said about cards & special boxes - our families do that too! My mom sends the kids a postcard every week - she gets them from everywhere!! With just a little note. Caymen has a scrapbook that we keep them all in. And probably once a month he gets some type of package from a grandparent. It might only be a coloring book and stickers - but when he gets home and see's he got something from grandma & grandpa it makes his day. And then he loves writing them thank you cards and drawing them pictures! Also, you know all that school "art" work you get and don't know what to do with . . . . send it to grandma!! I have Caymen pick out a few things and we ship them off to various grandparents so they can see what he's been doing, enjoy his work and they don't get caught throwing it away!! Good luck, and know things will get easier. Keeping you all in my prayers!
How sad--this one brought on my morning tears!!
You guys are amazing!! Thank you for the great ideas!! I will definitely try them out on our end. The sad part is, for those that know my mom, she really won't be that great on her end. My sister-in-law can attest? to that since I'm not sure she has ever mailed my nephew ANYTHING in his 18 months of life. She's great in person, sucks at having to put forth any effort. Just sayin...
But Thank You! We will skype,send artwork, and try out all the other ideas.
This is why I love you guys! Lives are busy, chaotic, and filled with stress. Just the support I get on here makes such a huge difference! Thank You!
XOXO
I didn't know if your mom read this, I was going to comment that you were going to have to put the surprise box together yourself and pretend to send it to him! I am so sorry hun!
I've been thinking of you & your little guy ever since reading this. I hope he is coping better than you expected him to.
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