Thursday, November 6, 2008

Unplugged


As I was listening to the local morning show this morning the DJ asked a question. "What is playing on your iPod?" I totally cringed! What if I had to publicly reveal my personal playlist? It's one thing when Malakai asks, "Can I hear?" because I can quickly switch to a more appropriate playlist. It would be quite another thing if someone plugged into my tunes as they are, almost like reading my diary. Sometimes when I'm at the gym I wonder if someone walking by can actually hear what I am listening to!


My iPod gets me through evenings of unwinding and the chores that come with this life I live. I plug into my escape, I pour a glass of wine, tasty, but not too expensive. If you were a fly on the wall at 9:30pm, you would know I love to dance to the music in my ears. I probably would have become a stripper if it wasn't for the whole nudity thing.


Doing the dishes, I am rolling my hips to the Pussycat Dolls:


I'm a sexy mama

Who knows just how to get what I wanna

What I want to do is spring this on you

Back up all of the things that I told you


Later I fold laundry and I am jamming to Justin Timberlake. "Mom, what are you listening to?" Malakai mouths while he is up to get a drink of water. I push the pause circle and tell him "I'm getting my groove on. Go back to bed."


Are you feelin' me?

Let's do somethin'

Let's make a bet

'Cause I bet I'll have you naked by the end of this song


When it's time to pick up legos, socks, and unknown plastic parts not in their places and return them to their rightful positions, I am rockin to Prince's Little Red Corvette.


A body like yours

Oughtta be in jail

Cuz it's on the verge of bein obscene

Move over baby

Gimme the keys

I'm gonna try to tame your little red love machine


I find a used diaper stuffed in the corner of the bathroom and then sniff the sour laundry in the washing machine that was forgotten today. I plug into Gwen Stefani's Hallaback Girl (the explicit version of course) and feel vindicated when she says, "This shit is bananas." And then goes on to stomp and spell it out, "B.a.n.a.n.a.s." I think she wrote that song for me!


There may be some research to back up the comfort that "This shit is bananas" brings me. I remember being told once that regular swearing at work can boost team spirit and allow people to express themselves more fully. The work of housework, while there are currently only two employees, Josh and I, really need all the team spirit it can get.


I like to think there are a few advantages to knowing explicit song lyrics. For example, I was able to filter the elementary students' music at a school talent show. I knew the extended version of YEAH by Usher and it should not be played, even in try-outs and that Ne-Yo's Addicted should not back up the the trio of ten year olds in tank tops! It is not rare for my girlfriends and I to know the lyrics to Promiscuous Girl by Nelly Furtado, Naughty Girl by Beyonce, and Beep by the Pussycat Dolls. GASP!


Where does this love for raunchy music come from? All I can think is that I did see Flashdance and Dirty Dancing at a very early age! Becoming a daytime welder and a nighttime dancer was a dream of mine! Talk about glamourous, living in an abandoned warehouse with a big dog, saving up paychecks for a better day. Jennifer Beals (playing Alex) was my mentor to learn to remove my bra with my shirt still on. And still today, I have an urge to accidentally rip the neck out of my sweatshirts so I can let my right shoulder hang out. Now that is hot! To this day, I quiver when I hear the song, "What a Feeling" by Irene Cara.


Yes, by day I am the woman responding to her calling through work and her family. But by night, I am the woman passionate about strutting my fine stuff while wiping the counter down. It's Pussycat Doll Nasty! Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?


4 comments:

Colleen said...

I wanted to cry reading this, I would have to say, "I don't even own an i-Pod!" BLAH!

The Magill Family said...

You seriously crack me up! I can totally see you dancing around the house cleaning! LOL! Why I love Kyle traveling sometimes - I can play my music throughout the house, drink wine and clean all at the same time!!

K to the M said...

I seriously think my tv goes off after 5 until Josh gets home at 8:30. I turn up the docking station and dance, dance, dance! However, Malakai is learning from Josh and constantly saying "Turn it dooowwwn!" Ugh! Men!

Newlywed said...

I have often wondered what the expression on someones face would be if they saw me grooving to my ipod while I was cleaning! Too funny!