This is bothering me a lot. It seems I work VERY hard in all aspects of my life to keep them from being repetitive and boring. Like Josh and I, for example. I have the biggest fear of falling into a rut of a relationship that has no excitement, is totally predictable, and has little to no spark left in it. This takes A LOT of work!! Somehow, over the years, we have managed pretty well. Constantly making time for just the two of us and focusing on being a couple and not just a couple of parents. This goes the same with my job, my kids, my friends, etc. I try to take nothing for granted and live each day to the fullest. Don't get me wrong. Some days my day consists of nothing more than work, home, dinner, bath, kids in bed, snuggle, and bed for myself. Okay, maybe most days. But even then, I try to do one thing everyday that is unpredictable.
So, why have I let my blog slack?
I have learned that in the blog world, this is known as the Slump. I started this blog, lets see, in April it will be two years. I'd say the Slump started about 5 or 6 months ago. Writing is hard. Writing is hard in more ways than one. First, it's hard to think of good things to write. Some days I'm so tired. Some days I just don't feel very smart. Some days I don't feel creative. I don't want to share what's in my head because I don't feel like there IS anything in my head. NOTHING. Nothing but a plethora of random Microsoft passwords and pin numbers bouncing around in my brain. Nothing but "don't forget to pick up milk and fill out Malakai's school forms and I have a 7:30 meeting in the morning". Plus, when I look back over things I have written I start to get really critical. I start to think maybe this is stupid. Maybe I can't write. Maybe any of the excitement I felt when I started this blog has already run its course, and I have gotten all I can from it.
I guess now would be the time to examine why I really did want to do this in the first place. I love to write. It is obviously far from being my expertise, but my whole purpose of this blog is to have it put into books for my kids when they are grown. They are going to get to this point, stop reading, and say B.O.R.I.N.G! I also wanted to do this because I was starting to feel lost. Like I was losing my identity in a suburban neighborhood driving an over sized SUV, working 9-5, trying to prove that working mom's can still be darn good room-mothers. I still want to be Karissa too. I wanted to do this because I felt like I would lose my mind if I didn't start doing something creative. Something that challenged me. Something that made me think.
So here is a promise to myself, and to my children and their one-day spouses, to focus more on not making this blog boring. What does this mean? I don't really know. I feel like I have gotten away from opinionated blogs for fear of upsetting people. Not anymore folks. An opinion is exactly that...an opinion...and it's mine! If it's not the same as yours, that's okay! In fact, I would love to hear yours. I respect everyone's beliefs and opinions, even if deep down, I know mine are right. Ha Ha! It's a joke people, lighten up! Colleen and I have been best friends for 12 years or something like that and we agree on a lot of stuff. However, we probably have different opinions on even more....I love that! My blog used to be a place where I could log in and just let it out. Congratulations to you if you live in pure bliss, if your not scrambling some evenings making sure at least one of your five year olds 12 uniform shirts are clean for the next day, if you never have the feeling of wanting to shut yourself in the bathroom and scream at the top of your lungs because your kids are fighting over the same damn toy you've taken away 12 times, if you husband is perfect and never forgets to update his work schedule with you (or the nanny). These imperfections are what makes The Miller's us...what makes our chaos pure bliss. I love it, and I need to express it more.
So, here is to February! Thank goodness I made it through January, the longest, coldest, most miserable month EVER!