Tuesday, June 10, 2008

My Beautiful Mommy

For those of you that know me also know that I am a firm (no pun intended) believer in plastic surgery. As a matter of fact, I plan to have my little Nip/Tuck done by March of 2009. That is my goal anyway. No, I am not going to buy Leila a new set of ta ta's for her high school graduation present, as a lot of people are doing these days. However, having babies has taken it's toll on my girlish figure. I have never been skinny. My whole life I have been big boned. My goal is not to become a size 4. I JUST WANT MY 23 YEAR OLD BOOBS BACK!!

Okay, and the tummy :) I have had two beautiful children who have enjoyed sucking on my ta ta's immensely. The damage is done and there is no push up bra that is going to help. They literally fall into my armpits whenever I lie down. As for the tummy, I am not one of those sickening, cute pregnant divas. I LOOK AWFUL! I gain an ungodly amount of weight and the dimples in my stomach show it now. It doesn't matter how often I go to the gym or how well I dress to compliment my figure, the dimples and stretched skin are still there and they aren't going away with out a little help from Dr. 90210.

What is the point of this you ask? I am no longer going to lose sleep over how I am going to explain to my children that mommy got a new set of jugs and no longer has the cute little dimples they like to lose quarters in. I will just get them THIS!

Good Lord! What will they come up with next?!



Colleen said...

ROTFLMAO!! I love it! Maybe we could get a two for one special, because that was my "secret" last MNO, I am a plastic surgery whore! I can't wait! You may beat me to it, but ONE DAY, I will have a smoking hot body too!

The Magill Family said...

LOL! I saw this book on the news a few weeks ago and couldn't believe it! Seriously, if you can't talk to your kids about this stuff - you are screwed when it comes time to have "the talk"!You know I'm all for it baby! Just waiting till I'm completely done having kids to get my complete overhaul. Got the name of a great Dr. for ya if you need!

Kara A said...
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Kara A said...

OMG that was funny! Your site is great! and you are hilarious!
Hope to see you at the reunion!